Ruvim Balan

In Leviticus 18:30; when God tells Moses that he would tell the Israelites to not do the abominable customs of those before them. That they may not be unclean.

God never wanted them to separate himself from his people. It breaks God’s heart when we separate him from us by sinning, because he always wants to be with us, and never wants to leave our side.

In Mark 14:72; Peter denied Jesus the 3rd time and the rooster crowed, and Peter recognized that Jesus said that he will deny him 3 times. And Peter dropped down and wept.

God sees every sin we will soon commit.

In Psalm 30:9-10; David sings to God, and he tries to convince God to not keep him in Sheol. And he tries to convince God and ask him if the dust of the earth will worship him and tell of his faithfulness.

Take Away: God wants me so bad that he doesn’t want me to sin that it would separate him from me. He sees me when I sin and put something above him. It breaks his heart to see me do something that will cause him to separate myself from him. His heart cries when I blame him for the consequences of my sins. And how I try to justify myself and save my self by trying to convince God like David who tried to ask God if the Dust will speak of his great faithfulness. He already proved to me that he would die for my sins to reconcile me to him, but I don’t always look on the him on the cross.

God said to me: Ruvim, I don’t ever want to leave your side. I never want you to sin. Every second that you are in sin, my heart is crying. For I see your greatness and your future. I can’t Live without you. I want you to be with me, and for you to want to be with me. I am not ashamed of you, I am proud to be your father. I am proud of you. Everyday I am amazed at the work you do that day, and your submission to my spirit. I am so amazed at the Faith you bring forth, and the righteous thoughts you want to have. That you repent every time you notice that you have put something above me. I am so amazed at your purity and your desire for me. Ruvim, I LOVE YOU ❤️!!! I Love you to be my son. I am crazy for you. I am crazy for the praise that I will get from you from the heart. I promise you that I Love you. Ruvim, I hear you, you are not 1,000 miles away.
Ruvim, I see when your heart drops because you’ve realized that you put something above me, I Love that about you. You are so sensitive to my spirit, and you hear my voice soo well, I love that about you. I Love that you notice things other people don’t notice. I Love how you just want to reflect me. I Love how you just want more of me.

In Mark 10:47-48; A blind man hears Jesus, and in his need he cries out to Jesus to have mercy and heal him. Many many people rebuked him, but he continued to yell out to Jesus. Then Jesus heard him and called out to him. And when people saw that Jesus heard him, they told him to take heart, or in other words to have Faith. And He left his cloak that was comforting him, and he left it behind and sprung up and jumped to God. And when Jesus replied, he kindly asked for him to heal him. And Jesus didn’t touch him but Jesus just congratulated him that his faith has brought him healing. And was healed right away.

Take away: I know that many of you are praying for healing from something or freedom from something. God is telling you guys to not listen to the rebukes or the doubt if other people who are trying to oppress you because of their shamefulness of their sin in themselves. They are scared that God didn’t answer their prayer, but will answer your prayer. For when God will answer your prayer and show his glory to you, people will tell you to take heart or to Have Faith. And you can just ask God and he will heal you and free you, and reveal himself to you. THIS IS A SIGN THAT GOD HAS ANSWERED THAT PRAYER. HAVE FAITH IN WHAT GOD HAS PROMISED.

GOD IS CONGRATULATING YOU FOR HAVING ENOUGH FAITH IN YOUR PRAYERS.

In Mark 8; Jesus was healing a man with blindness, and he had to lay hands on him twice. Even Jesus who raises the Dead had to pray for healing twice. This shows us that it is ok if it takes a couple tries when you are speaking/praying healing over someone, this means there is no shame in taking a couple tries.

I am writing this on the second day of the CREW CONFERENCE.

• In Exodus 38 & 39; Israel is building the Temple of God, and so much things are made of Bronze and Silver.
  In the Bible, Silver accually symbolizes: purity, redemption, and the refining of God’s work.
• In Mark 7:14-23; Jesus says that it is not from what enters a person that defiles it, but what comes out of the person. And describes those things to be sin that’s in the heart.
  
  Later in vv.35-37; Jesus heals someone who couldn’t hear well and could not speak l, and spits in his mouth and heals him.

Only Jesus can heal our pornographic addictions, our evil and sexual thoughts, our thoughts to cut ourselves, only he can deliver us from envy, form the evil desires and speech that comes from our hearts.

• In Psalms 24:4-6; David sings to God and says; that those who have clean hands and a pure heart and does not rejoice in his heart or his emotions for things that are false, they will receive God’s blessing, and God’s righteousness. And it will also be with this Generations who seeks God’s face.

Take away: God wants to purify and strengthen this generation. He sees that we seek after God’s own heart, that we seek his face, which symbolizes his Presence, Favor, Glory, and Blessings. He seeks to purify and redeem us with the refining of God’s work. He wants to heal us from the evil desires of our hearts and what comes out of them. He wants to clean our hearts and purify them for the revival that will come from us and Gods power.

• In Exodus 34:29; Moses was for so Long in God’s presence that his face shone because he was literally talking to God, and God’s Glory was on him.
• In Mark 5; Jesus pretty much only did miracles in this chapter, but there was a woman who had a discharge for 12 years, and she touched his garment and she was healed. Jesus turned around and said to her, “Daughter, Your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.” And to the man who was in charge of the synagogue, he said, “Do not fear, only believe.” And he revived his daughter from death.
• Psalm 22:29; “All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship.” This means that they don’t even call work, “work”. But they call it Worship. That the work that they do is worship. That they don’t even consider it work, but it’s worship to God.

Take Away: God is telling me that He wants me to be more in his presence, that his glory would shine off of me all the time. And that way I can do healings because of his glory. He is telling me that My work is going to be worship. That I will go and heal people and it will be my Job. It will be my property.

• In Proverbs 4:23; Solomon is speaking to his son, and he is telling him how important it is for him to keep his words and rebukes in his heart, and in his sights. He mentions that from tbe heart flow tbe springs if Life; Meaning that you will live out what is in your heart. Like in what you say, eat, how you walk life, and treat others. And most importantly your relationship with God.
• In Exodus 27-28; God is describing in detail how to build the Temple of God, and we can see how God desires to be closer to his people. He desires to be right there with his people.
• In Mark 2:6-8; Jesus is in a house, and it is packed with people all the way out the door. They bring him a Paralytic, who can’t walk Z and Jesus tells him that his sins are forgiven. Then he perceives in his spirit that the Pharisees judged him for what he did. Then Jesus sees what’s in their heart, and he confronts them.

Take Away: God sees my heart, and he sees every sin that I commit. He sees every good desire I have, and every Bad desire that I have. He sees my thoughts when I’m looking at a girl, and the lust that sparks in my heart. He sees my desire for him, and my hate for sin. He sees my repentant heart, and my prideful moments. He sees everyone I am envious, and when I’m humble. He sees when I put something above him, and when something else takes of 1st place. But he still yearns to get closer to me, he still wants me to grow, he still would destroy the physical world for my soul (Psalm 18:6-24), That he would kill all of his creation for my safety. He himself chose to die, that I wouldn’t die.

In Mark 11:40-41; A man with leprosy comes to Jesus, and he kneels. He says to Jesus, “ If you will, you can make me clean.”
And Jesus putting his hand on his shoulder, says, “I will, be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him.

Take away: When I was reading this, a memory came over my mind, where me and my family used to live in an RV, with 7 people in a 5 person RV. And it was night and everyone was sleeping, while I was outside the RV, under the extendable roof. I was crying before God, and looking at the moon in between the crack of the tarp and the roof. And I was crying to God to forgive my sin, and that I wanted more of Him. And in this memory, I heard God say,

“I will, my son Be clean.”

In Exodus 22-23; God revealed to Moses the Law and the covenant that he will declare over the people. Most of this Law and rules were that if someone steals, or kills, or breaks in, or hurts, he will have to pay tbe price in full or double or triple and so on. They had to pay back what they stole or hurt or damaged with their own belongings and their own possessions and hard work.

In Matthew 28; Jesus was judged and taken on the cross, he died for the sins of others, and he took on what we were supposed to pay. He payed our unplayable debt. He died for our debt, and transgressions, and sins, and iniquities.

Proverbs 4:9; Solomon speaks about lady wisdom and the wise words of his Father, he speaks about how lady wisdom will bestow a beautiful crown on your head.

Just as lady wisdom will put a beautiful crown on your head, so it gave Jesus the glorious crown of thorns. It gave him honor and praise for what he did. Wisdom will lead you to humility as onto the cross. Wisdom will lead you to go into your cross.

• In Matthew 27:15-31; Jesus was mocked and spit on, the people chose to release a murderer instead of him, and the soldiers took Jesus and they put a scarlet robe on him, they out a crown of thorns on him, they put a reed in his right hand, and they kneeled before him and mocked him saying, “Hail, King of the Jews.” And they struck him on his head with the reed.
• In Psalm 19:12-13; David says to God to keep him from sin, to declare him innocent from hidden faults. that he should be blameless and innocent before the great transgression.

David was talking with God, and he prophesied that his sins would be forgiven and that he would be blameless before God. How Jesus was blamed and mocked that he wouldn’t have to.

• In Psalms 18:1-16; David talks about how he was oppressed by his enemy, and death encompasses him, and destruction assailed him, and Sheol entangled him; but one thing that caught my eye when I was reading this; was when He started to describe the LORD who heard his cry out to him, from heaven. And how in his distress, the LORD came running to him, and How the earth reeled, and rocked, and; how the foundations of the Earth were moved, that the mountains moved. How they quaked because He was angry. How smoke came from his nostrils and devouring fire came from his mouth. How he made the heavens bow to him. And thick darkness were under his feet. How he rode a cherub, and flew, how he came swiftly on the wings of the wind. He made darkness his covering, his canopy, thick clouds dark with water. Out of the brightness before him coming from him hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds. How when he spoke, it was like thunder in the heavens, and it was hailstone and coals of fire. How he sent arrows from his speech and they scattered everywhere. How lightning came from his mouth, and he routed where they went. How the channels of waters were seen and revealed, and the foundations of the world were uncovered and seen. He is describing God as God runs to his protection in all his glory, and how THE LORD PAYS ATTENTION TO HIM, when there seems to be other more mighty things in creation, more important than us. But we are more important to God than everything. He didn’t even care that the earth could get destroyed, or that the heavens bowed down to him. But HE WAS LOOKING AT YOU. His focus was on you. The greatest desire for anything in God’s heart, is you.

He’s basically just describing God with all mighty things in creation, and how they all formed God. And it got me thinking that this creation IS God; or I should say, God is in all things, and he is in the wind, he is in the thunder, he is in the water, he is the foundation of the earth, and the pillars of the sea. He is and was always there.

• In verses 17-19; he talks about how God delivered him. And In verses 19-24; David describes how important he is to God. How God dealt with him according to his righteousness, according to the cleanness of David’s Hands (because David had Faith in the promise of Jesus, before Jesus was on earth. And that he was cleaned because of Jesus.) He described That GOD delights in him, how because of his righteousness he was blameless before God, and THIS God in verses 7-16, He sees YOU with a glory of righteousness and purity, that now he sees that you have done it, you have kept yourself from corruption, from drinking, from masturbating, from sleeping with someone, from killing someone, from hating on someone, from hating yourself, from stealing, from any other evil and corrupt act that is NOT YOURS ANYMORE. You have not done that no more. That isn’t you. You have not done that in Jesus name. You are blameless before a God who sees everything. You are clean before God.

Take away: The Lord told me I have never sinned. He said that my sins are not mine. That I have never sinned and that I am pure, I am righteous and beautiful. My hands are clean and he is rewarding me for keeping my hands clean (But it is not me but Christ in me).

• Exodus 7:20; “Moses and Aaron did as the LORD commanded…”
• Exodus 8:31; “And the Lord did as Moses asked…”
• Psalm 16:5-6; “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.”
• Psalm 16:9-10; “Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.”

In Matthew 24; Jesus talks about the signs and wonders that will happen in the last days to show that it is close to the day of judgment.

Take Away: God is telling me to follow his heart, his will, and where his spirit leads me; Then he will give me the desires of my heart. He wants me not to worry of my inheritance for He is my choice of the portion, and he has made me dwell securely. I should not worry about whom I should marry, what job I will have, what I will have for food, but that he will make my flesh dwell securely. He has my lot. Indeed I have a beautiful inheritance with him in heaven.

Wow, this is so beautiful how the psalms connect to each other. It’s also so beautiful how when we give our Lives to the Lord, and we dedicate our lives to him, he will let us follow what he put in our hearts. He will let us follow our desires to a certain degree, and it is not about following a Law where everything is the same in everyone’s life, but that God will give everyone what is on their heart, and it is so different in everyone’s life. Thank you for sharing Bryant, HalleluYah, this is beautiful.

• In Exodus 4:24-26; God sought to kill Moses. But Zipporah took a flint and circumcised Moses’s son and poured his blood on his feet. And God left Moses alone.
• In Proverbs 3:32-35; Solomon is telling his son that the devious person is an abomination to God. That the Lord is cursing tbe house of the wicked. That he is scornful to those who scorn others. That fools will get disgraced.
• In Matthew 23; Jesus speaks rebukes to the prophets into the crowds. He says that they are the sons of those who killed the prophets. They are to fill the measure of their fathers. How they are the brood of vipers. he asked them how they are going to escape hell? How they are sent prophets and wise men and scribes, some of whom they kill and crucify, and some they will flog and persecute from town to town. So that on them may come all the righteous and innocent blood. That it would be their fault that those innocent righteous men have died. Those whine that have already murdered between the sanctuary and the altar. He tells them that truly this will come to pass on this generation, to them and not in the future.

Take Away: God told me that he was going to kill me.

He told me that he was going to curse me and my Family. And that I would be an abomination to him, like a dead animal. He said that he will scorn me and that he will disgrace me. How I will go to hell. How I have killed men if God because of my sin. How I am a brood of vipers, how I am a hypocrite and a Child of hell. But not anymore, not anymore am I a brood of vipers, not anymore will he seek to kill me, no more will I be cursed, no more will I be shamed. No more will I be hated and disgraced. No more will I be a child of hell. He was to kill me but he killed Jesus instead, and Jesus’s blood is presently at my feet covering all of me and where I’ve walked before. All my past steps. All of my past present and future sin. All where I will be. But now he sees me as clean, as righteous, and without blemish. Fully white, fully Jesus. He sees me as blessed, how I will inherit honor and favor. He told me that I will NEVER BE ALONE ANYMORE. that he will do me no harm he will never leave my side. He is above me beneath me, how he is before me and behind me. That I will dwell trustingly beside him. I thank God for Jesus, HalleluYah.

This is so beautiful how God is gentle and very attentive to our words and attractive to us in the way that he is attentive to us. And also that he never changed and never will change.

• In Exodus 3:9-12; God speaks to Moses and tells him that he has seen the oppression of Israel, and that he heard their cries for help. God then tells Moses that he is sending him to go free the Israelites and go speak to Pharaoh. Moses had a mix of fear and humility when he asked this question, but he asked God, “Who am I to go before Pharaoh. Then God told him that He will go with him, and he gave him a promise to show that he was with him. One thing that caught my eye, was that when Moses asked what is his name that he should tell he Israelites, for in those times they worshiped other Gods, and without it they would serve another God for The LORD’s work. And God said “I AM who I AM”, and he said that THIS IS HIS NAME FOREVER.
• In Matthew 22:15-46; Jesus is being tested by the Pharisees and the Sadducees tried to twist Jesus in his own words. But Jesus wasn’t Moved, he was the Solid Rock and Foundation. In the Last verse of this chapter, it says,” And no one was able to answer him a word, nor from that day did anyone dare to ask him anymore questions.” So nobody tried to test and confusingly twist his words anymore from that day forward.
• In proverbs 3:13-26; Solomon tells to his son not to forget his words and teachings, but to tie it to his heart, and keep it as his Greater Values. Then he says that they will Bless the one who finds them, and he who gets understanding. How they will grow in value more than Gold and Silver ever will. They are more precious than Jewels. Nothing is comparable to her (Lady Wisdom). She will give a Long Life, and riches and honor are in her other arm that is for them. She leads on ways of pleasantness and ALL her paths are PEACE. Most importantly what stood out to me, was on verse 23; where it talks about how it will cause you to walk and not stumble, and and you will step securely (On the SOLID ROCK).
  God will keep your own foot to not get caught on anything, and your confidence will be ON Him.

Personal Story/Testimony: When I was younger I didn’t have the best and most wisest sounding speech. I was the Loud kid and I would have shame of how I would speak to people, and the unorganized and unprofessional way I spoke. I can say that he has healed me and has improved my speech to be more fluent and way more organized and understandable. HalleluYah God is good and a gracious🙌🙌.

Take Away: God is telling me that He is my Solid Rock of wisdom in speech and actions. He is what will prevent me from getting my foot caught and falling down. He will grow my speech in wisdom and gentleness and seriousness towards other at the right moments. He will keep my foot straight and not to turn to any side; to not walk off the paths of righteousness, wisdom, and purity.

• In Genesis 49:22-26; Jacob is dying and he is lying on his death bed. And he blesses his sons. This verse specifically talks about how he blesses Joseph, and how his hardships and trials saved the whole world from those 7 years of famine.
• In Genesis 50:20; Joseph’s Father dies and the brothers fear that now Joseph will kill them because they caused him soo much pains and traumas. But Joseph cries before them that they even asked him this question to have mercy on them and forgive them. And then he says that What They Intended for Evil, God has used for Good.
• Matthew 21:31-32, and 43; talks about how Jesus was telling the Pharisees that they Lost the kingdom of Heaven because they did not have a changed mindset, and a renewed mindset (Eph4:23-24), And how the kingdom of God was given to those who Accually produce fruit for the spiritual kingdom of God.
• In Proverbs 3; Solomon speaks about wisdom to his son, but more importantly for me during this devotion was that God disciplines those whom he loves, and He Loves those whom he disciplines. That he Loves me as a Father does his Son.

Personal Story: There was a season of Isolation that God put me in and that I was burning for God. God told me to go 1 hour everyday and I would go for at least an hour walks, to preach the Gospel in my neighborhood every single day. And I did this for many months. I have had interactions with Satanists, and (this was when I was still a baptist, so it was before I was seeing the power of God and before I knew the power of God and the authority I had in Jesus’s name) This was the hardest season in my Life, but it was the closest i was to God. The reason on how I got more sensitive in the spirit was because I would start to feel the Lord showing me what direction to go when I would come to a crosswalk. The Lord put a warmth on my nose and I would look around and it would start to grow warm when I was facing the direction that he wanted me to go.
Anyways: this season was super hard on me because so would worry about going on walks more that work. And I had to die to my fleshly desires to go on these walks and to also fast from food soo much.

Take Away: God is showing me that he Loves me as a Dad does to his Son, He sent me these trials and tribulations in my life because He loves me enough for me to grow from these. And most importantly that these trials will grow me.

• In Genesis 48:14; Jacob prays for Joseph’s sons, and blesses the younger sibling, but when Joseph tries to move his hand, Jacob rebukes Joseph and tells him that he knows that he is the younger brother. And so the younger brother gets the bigger blessing.
• 1 Samuel 16:11-13 came to my mind; where The Lord chose David, the youngest and least loved brother, because he saw his hearts and how he was a Man after Gods own heart.
• In Matthew 20:26-28; Jesus says that whoever wants to be first must be a servant and a slave. Also in Matthew 19:30, and Matthew 20:16; Jesus says that the First is Last, and the Last will be First.
• In Psalm 15; David talks about how to be a man who Dwells on the Lords mountain, and will not be moved is, the one who walks blamelessly, who speaks truth not by words but Accually in his heart. One who does not speak hate over anybody, who does no evil to his neighbor, who does not criticize or blame a friend, who honors those who fear the Lord and disposes the vile man, who swears to someone and keeps his promises even if they hurt himself. Who does not give out money at interest or is not greedy to give money, etc.

Personal story: When I was little, (as many of us) My Mom taught me that Gods will was for us to do the right thing. This specifically stuck with me, and I remember one point where I specifically mentally decided to start doing everything right, and to never do evil intentionally (I am also imperfect). During this time, me and my close brother had a really good relationship with each-other, but all the sudden he started to hate me, to the point where he didn’t even want to sit next to me. Even though I didn’t do anything to him. Recently he told me that he started to envy (I forgot the specific reason), but I think it’s because of what Im about to say: when I started to pursue good, soon I started to notice that people started to favor me, and notice my purity. I knew that this was Favor from God, and I thought of the verse that was Proverbs 3:4; which speaks about finding favor with God, and with Man.

My relationship with my brother has gotten way better, The Lord has worked sooo greatly on him. And I Love him.

Take Away: God is reminding me to pursue what is good, and not to intentionally hurt anyone, and his Favor will uphold my life, and I will not be moved or rattled because of purity of heart.

Wow this is so encouraging that we must humble ourselves before God to enter into his promise of the Kingdom.

• Genesis 45:3; Joseph reveals his identity to his brothers, and it stood out to me that he right away asked about his father. More interested about his earthly father. It’s Like he was asking, “Father, I am here, where are you !?!”
  in Genesis 45:28; Joseph’s Father said;
  
  “It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive. And I will go and see him before I die.” To me Joseph’s Father said this, “Joseph, My son, I am here. I am coming to you my son.”
• Psalm 14:2; David speaks about the fools and unbelievers, and how nobody seeks after God. And in my mind God personally said this word “God” was signified as Father.
  And right away I saw myself in this, and said, “ God I am here, I am searching out for you.” And he told me that I haven’t called out to him, because I was afraid of man.”
• Matthew 19:26; Jesus tells the disciples, “With Man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
  God told me that I can’t God into him on my own. But only through him that will be possible.

Take away: Me and my Dad didn’t really have this relationship as Joseph had with his Father. Like this burning and yearning to see each other. So when I noticed that Joseph was yearning for his earthly Father, I was a little confused, because I had a very good relationship with my Mother, but not this burning relationship with my Father (it was a good relationship with my father, but it wasn’t burning). And God said to me that when I will burn and yearn for him, he will restore this relationship with my Father, and revive it. And I will have this burning desire to be with my earthly father, and he will have that yearning for me.

• In Genesis 43:11 and also 14; Israel is in a trial of having to give up his son Benjamin to get some food. And he was afraid, but he said, “If it must be so…” that his sons be taken away from him. And yet again in v.14: “If I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.” He looked at what he had and was ready to lose his children for the sake of God’s promise because it was the only way to survive.
• In Matthew 18:3; Jesus tells the disciples that they must be like children to enter into the Kingdom of God.

I have 2 little siblings. And one thing I noticed about them, is that they can’t do much things on their own. You need to provide and make food for them, and even financially provide for them—as my parents do.

• In Psalm 13; David cries out to God because he is being attacked by the enemy. And he cries out to God to hear him, and to just consider him and his life. To just briefly think about him and his faith growing trial at the time. But David at the end of the psalm trusts in God and how He has delivered him before, and blessed him where he’s at right now.

Take Away: The Devil had been attacking me for a long time, and also the past 2 days with Wet Dreams. And I’ve been crying out to God to free me from this, but sometimes he doesn’t, or it doesn’t seem like he’s even listening to me. And so I truly relate to David and how he was attacked in his sleep to where he called it, “The sleep of death.”
No matter how I pray against it, even trying to do the tabernacle prayer, but I don’t always get good sleep that night.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have a wet dream, and I also feel an evil presence in my house, so I get up and go pray against it until I feel peace in the house, which sometimes takes up to an hour. Even now as I write this on my phone, I fear of these attacks, for I will sleep soon. These are also not in my heart. I will be honest; sometimes I doubt that I will ever get free from this for I feel that everything that I ever did my whole life never worked out.

God is telling me that I need to trust in my deliverance that is already here, and that I need to depend on him to free me from this thorn in my side.